dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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