Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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