If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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