Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
