this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I touched a dick in church today
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
