never play flip cup with pint glasses
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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