Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
