dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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