would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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