Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
