someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
