that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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