Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize