Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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