i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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