stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize