I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
