I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
