I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
