i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
How's work?
Spinning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
