hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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