I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
