i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
