omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
