i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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