at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
