It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
