Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
