so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
barbara walters just said penis...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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