babies were throwing up all over the place
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
