call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Two words: blizzard sex
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
