Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
