Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
