i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
