so that wasnt chicken after all
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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