NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just high enough for therapy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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