Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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