Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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