I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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