this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
