Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
