dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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