How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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