Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
