where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
third nipple confirmed
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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