my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
