This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
