Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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