yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
