Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
