weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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