Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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