:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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