I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
