either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
