Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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