Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just high enough for therapy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
