It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
