Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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