I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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