Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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