the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
