Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I will be naked everywhere
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
