totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
