Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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