So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
