There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize