fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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