i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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