Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
soo... how was my night?
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