How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
