We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
