i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
