ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
