...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
