if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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