just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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