You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
